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Best Valentine Gifts for Widows

February 5, 2014 |

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Well, it’s the season of red hot love, pink and white marketing and little blue boxes of affection everywhere you look. As widows, I know this stops you in your tracks a bit depending where you are in your journey.

And ladies, I get it. I lost my husband on Valentine’s Day.

In the first few years, I ignored it and ran the other direction like it was the plague. It was painful to watch as love was bursting in the air. It took all the emotional strength I could muster up to breathe past it all. I did. And as the years rolled by, I embraced love a little bit wider, deeper and higher. I started by making other peoples Valentine’s Day brighter, it felt good and quite easier than making myself happy. Then one year, I went on a romantic date, but with full disclosure, I couldn’t bring myself to do it on Feb. 14th. Luckily, he understood.

Today, my love for life and the things I find meaningful get my love every day, because I know today is all we really have. That’s the amazing part about having been loved, having been so very lucky to experience the joy of Valentine’s Day in the beautiful and ugly parts of life.

Loss brings to love a whole new level of depth.

So, that brings me to NOW. Because even though we are widowed, we still are very much women who like a good gift now and then. (If you post this around on FB & such, maybe someone will stumble upon it and surprise you. Worth a try, be open and see. Of course, that means they just read this and have a responsibility to do something :).

Best Valentine’s Gifts for Widows: 

  • hinds_timtaylor_post2Handy Man (or woman)- Hands down, if you can repair anything, move that there, hang this or finally finish that embarrassingly long honey do list, by all means, come to my house!! Handy men are the number one gift a widow would usually like to have. We proved this in a very humorous poll once.
  • Apple Gift Cards- MWC ladies often have technology to make their life easier. Staying connected when our forgetful widow brains draw a blank is mighty important. I can’t do without those calendar alerts that have saved my a** many times from being voted ‘worst mom ever’ in my family or ‘worst business owner ever’ or ‘worse…..’ Ok, you get the picture. If you can teach a widow about technology, even better! God love ya.
  • Holistic Remedies- Anything beneficial and improves life naturally. Organic kapok pillows, luxury cotton robes, silk kimono lounge set, acupuncture therapy massager, essential oils (not perfume), yoga mats/towels, spa treatments, soy candles . Think about improving and relaxing her. Go to Gwyneth Paltrow’s website Goop and snoop around or Gaiam.com
  • vday_t1_gcs-swAmazon Gift Cards- Is there anything you can’t buy on Amazon? I don’t think so. You could create an amazing disco in Alaska straight from clicking your mouse around Amazon. One stop shopping to your doorstep. The options are unlimited. So, give her the ‘choice’ to do whatever she wants.
  • Tickets- To the ballet, music festivals, sporting events, Burning Man, Disney 5k, film festivals, art shows, conventions, experiences. museums. Figure out what makes her tick and set her on fire by surprising her. We like looking forward to something fun.
  • Flowers- Women love flowers. They smell good, they look good, they are good. Nature brings us back to center and nothing says it more than flowers. Now, I’m not talking about red roses…don’t you dare! I’m talking about classy, elegant, blow your mind, creative flowers. Something unique…like her. Try to find out what she likes. For me, it’s daffodils which are impossible to find in February, so I’m always happy to receive orchids because they will stay fresh for a long time on my desk while I’m writing these blogs.Unknown
  • Babysitting, Hotel Weekends, Airline Tickets- What do all these have in common? Freedom. Escape. She deserves it. Nothing says ‘I love you’ more than saying ‘have a good time on me’ and ‘all the laundry will be folded when you return. Promise.’ Widows rarely do for themselves completely guilt free, so here is your opportunity to make that happen.
  • Etsy Me- Does she like elephants, angels, inspirational art, creative cards, candleholders, hats, custom jewelry, trinkets, ladybugs- you can find that and a ton more on Etsy and the best part is how uniquely home made it is. Artists from all over the world post their shops online ready for you to find them. Great when I needed to find some cosmic inspired leggings recently. Hey, she loved them!!

There are so many more I could list, but this is a good start. Whatever or however you decide to spend Valentine’s Day, just remember, there are numerous gifts all around us in our friends, family and nature.

The real gift about life is being present enough to enjoy it. That’s why I’m going to gift my daughters with a weekend of remembrance and fun that includes launching sky lanterns, a night out at SAK Comedy Club and a Romeo & Juliet Ballet. My gift to myself will be simply loving the moments.

~ Carolyn Moor

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Carolyn Moor

Carolyn Moor is a mom, an award winning interior designer and the founding director of Modern Widows Club, a nonprofit leading a movement to enable and empower widows to become extraordinary mentors, leaders, advocates and builders of local communities. She’s been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Orlando Sentinel, Houston Chronicle and seen on NPR, PBS, HuffPostLIVE, TLC, as well as, The Oprah Winfrey Show as a model of ordinary courage, compassion, visionary action and resilience. Join her in the #OneMillionWidows campaign to connect widows all over the world. A one-on-one widow mentor, she is changing the face of widowhood. Reach her at carolyn@modernwidowsclub.com