Widow Wisdom: How did you deal with the ‘brain fog’ that comes with grief?

We asked our widow sisters to share their wisdom by answering this question; How did you deal with the ‘brain fog’ that comes with grief?

  • I carried a little notepad and pen in my pocket. Wear nothing without pockets. -Betsy

 

  • I didn’t even know what brain fog was until 6months later when another widow told me. I couldn’t remember anything! I’d never lost my keys as many times as I did. Even when I went back to work at six months, I struggled. Sometimes I would pass the exit on the freeway and not even realize that I had made it to work. I wrote lists and posted them everywhere. I asked for help. Therapy 1-2 times a week. I don’t know how I survived, but 4 yrs later, I’m still here and much more clear-headed! Love, family, and patience with myself got me through. – Wister on Instagram

 

  • I always said that new widows have to be given a pass for at least a year after the death of their husbands. The grief, fear, upending life is devastating. – Wister on Instagram

 

  • Six years in and I still have problems. I make lists. I write down all the things that have to get done all week by day. That way, I don’t forget to take out the trash on Friday morning or go to yoga on Monday morning. It also helps the kids know where I am if they missed me telling them. I also write things on the wall calendar as well as put them on my phone. – Carole

  • Writing about my experiences after losing my husband helped me focus and helped me process my emotions. – Wister on Instagram

 

  • I’ve prayed, learned to meditate, and at seven and a half years, I’ve accepted it. I used to forget to pay bills and forget appointments I had scheduled. I’d call and apologize and explain. I’m better at those, but it still happens. I’ve absorbed that its part of my journey, and until someone faces it too and walks this path, they’ll never understand. – Cathy

 

  • I kept a basket for everything related to my husband’s death. I kept a notebook with me at all times, where I kept contacts and dates. I started bullet journaling, which allowed me to organize my thoughts in the morning and before bed. – Wister on Instagram

  • This image should replace “did “with “do. ” I’m trying to be more proactive now since I still experience it after seven years (just turned 40). Exercising more, eating healthy, and taking supplements for brain health. – Rach

 

  • Write things down, get enough sleep, hydrate, minimize alcohol and sugar, exercise, stay away from toxic people, and eat a healthy diet. – Wister on Instagram

 

  • Exercise saved me. Forgive yourself for doing the best you can with what you’ve been given. Including the fog. – Michelle

 

  • Crazy! I was going through menopause at the same time, so it was a double whammy. Six years later, I still have brain fog. Sometimes I see people talking to me and have no idea what they’re saying. I couldn’t concentrate on anything: reading, cross-stitching, etc. I forced myself to read a book a little at a time. And one day, I picked up my cross-stitching and couldn’t get enough of it. – Wister on Instagram

 

  • By trying to let everyone’s judgment roll off my shoulders because they don’t understand or know about the fog. Being a widow means living with a lot of forgiveness in your heart. – Sarah

  • Lists. Put everything on Google calendar immediately, on my to-do list, to get inventory, house maintenance list that I have help with…but I realized I have to do it the instant I think about it, or it’s completely gone. It’s over a year later, and I still I’m not even close to being myself or functioning at the capacity I used to. counseling every weekend digging into my own heart has been critical for healing, but I just need to give myself Grace with things like this- Wister on Instagram

 

  • Just time and letting the grief flow through you. It does come back, but you learn to deal with it better each time. My husband died almost eight years ago. Sometimes I’m great other times I’m not, and it’s ok! – Linda

 

  • I walked. And walked. And walked….then bought a camper, a pup, and a kayak. – Wister on Instagram