Widow Wisdom: What advice would you give to a new widow?


We asked our widow sisters to share their wisdom by answering this question; What advice would you give to a new widow?
Here are some of their answers:
• To focus on one day at a time! – Wister on Instagram

• Just breathe! In the journey ahead it will be sometimes all you can do and that’s ok! Be patient and above all else be kind to your self! – Wister on Instagram

• Don’t define your feelings. Allow them to pass through whatever they look like. Grace for others. No one can completely understand your situation even other widows. Your grief is unique to you. LOVE yourself 💖- Wister on Instagram

• It’s ok to draw the curtains, close the blinds, and not answer the door or the phone sometimes. You will need it. But, later, dust yourself off, take a shower and reach out to one of those friends that keeps calling. It might be just the thing you need, too. Don’t EVER apologize to anyone about your feelings- Wister on Instagram

• Let it out! Crying is good for our healing process. Also, take some time to be alone even just for a few minutes a day, if that’s all you have. – Wister on Instagram

• Take care of yourself, and don’t expect others to understand how YOU feel. – Wister on Instagram

• A wise widow told me when it happened to me, “nobody cares”— and she was right. At least not how you’d expect them too.. – Maureen

• Don’t isolate. Being alone is fine and preferred in early stages. But know there comes a point when you need to be with friends that can understand and help bring joy and laughter into your life. Know you WILL feel joy and laughter again. – Wister on Instagram

• One of the things that I missed the very most was not being able to talk to my husband and to just share my day. So, I decided to write him letters as if he were just away on a trip. I told him about the mundane things happening in town, the gossip and yes, I also wrote about my feelings, my lonliness and how much I missed him. At first I wrote every day and then after a while I realized that I hadn’t written in a while. I knew then that I was getting better. – Zippy

• Self care is extremely important. Stay hydrated even when not hungry. Listen to your body and rest. You will discover an inner strength and persevere. Allow yourself to walk through grief at your pace. – Wister on Instagram

• Realize that you will have to let some friends go and some friends will simply disappear. That’s ok. That’s normal. Their connection to you may have been through your spouse and that connection is longer there. Don’t take it to heart. It is just a natural progression that will happen. It’s your new normal. – Jeann

• Enlist a friend to be your advocate. Sometimes you need to stick up for yourself and you’ll just be too tired. – Wister on Instagram

• Make time to grieve and let yourself feel it as much as you can. Pushing it away or drinking it away can keep you stuck. There’s no way but through. Be kind to yourself ❤-Jeannie

• You will not always hurt like this, but your love will never go away. Your heart heals over the wound and it becomes part of who you are. Don’t isolate. The more love you give to the people who love you, the stronger you will become. You will make mistakes along the way. Embrace them, learn from them, and move on.-Kitty

• None. Be there and listen. There is no right or wrong way to go through this. Just do you. – Wister on Instagram

• Dear you have a huge task ahead of you. Take your time and don’t rush into making decisions. Express your feelings and allow the healing process. Involve your children in whatever decision you make. You have the potential to cope with the situation and remain objective in everything. Above all trust in God and all shall be well. – Angeline

• Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s. Be patient with yourself, trust the process, and be open to learning as you grieve. – Wister on Instagram

• If someone, sister, friend, neighbor, etc, asks you to accompany them somewhere, attend something, or such: go, if you want to or not. It’s a very sad time for us, but it’s healthy for us to get out of the house. You’ll still have plenty (plenty!) of time alone with your thoughts.-Mary

• Look for the joy in every day and focus on it. Plan things that give you something to look forward to. Life is precious. You will mourn. But imagine what your husband would do if he had one more day, and listen to his voice. You’ve got 2 to live for now. – Wister on Instagram

• Just breathe. That moment can feel overwhelming and like it will never end but breathe and just survive long enough to make it to the next. You will be different and that’s ok. You’ve been through something traumatic and not a lot of people will understand. – Eva