Widow Wisdom: What changes did you make to your home after losing your spouse?

We asked our widow sisters to share their wisdom by answering this question; What changes did you make to your home after losing your spouse?

Here are some of their answers:

  • I left our house the day he died with our 3 boys to live with my mom and never went back except to clean it out and pack our stuff up. -Wister on Instagram
  • It took three years to do it, but I cleaned out and downsized to a little house of my very own. Almost three years in my new space now and I’m loving the projects and making it mine! We had a great marriage but staying in that too big, too empty house was too much! Good memories traveled with me..the “stuff” was just “stuff.” -Genie
  • Rearranged the living room so my chair didn’t stare at the couch where he spent his last months. Otherwise haven’t done anything much can’t even get myself to properly spring clean just don’t feel like it. Been 15 months -Wister on Instagram
  • I went through same anger! I tore down paneling textured and painted. Ripped out carpet and laid new flooring. Painted every room in the house. My house looks totally different. I had to keep myself busy! Lol! On one wall in my daughters room I painted a whole wall zebra mind me my husband was probably rolling over in his grave he was a very neutral person. For every stripe I had a memory or told him “well you shouldn’t of left me” then I’d cry! But it was sorta a therapy for me! The wall is painted over now. I still miss him dearly even 10 years later but he made me promise him I’d live life for him and be happy best I can so I’m keeping my promise to him. – Veda
  • It was important to me to keep things as “normal” as possible for myself & our girls so we still live in our house, but we completely painted the entire house light bright colors, changed their bathroom, & added a fun chalkboard wall. We keep pictures up of my hubby/their daddy but the house has definitely grown with us into our new normal. -Wister on Instagram
  • I totally repainted all the rooms except the office. Bought new furniture, went through all his things very hard! I haven’t tackled the home office yet- I keep that door shut I will when I feel ready. – Kelly
  • I actually repainted our home, just as we both always wanted it but couldn’t, and kept his beautiful pictures at different places where we live, work, and sleep. So we could include him even more into everything me and my son do. -Wister on Instagram
  • I painted my paneling in the family room. My husband would never let me do that but said when he was gone I could do what I wanted. It took me over a year to think it was ok to do that and I love it. I actually think he would too. I painted the kitchen, bought new family room furniture and patio furniture. – Phyllis

  • I changed almost everything and finished home projects that we didn’t have time to do while he was sick. The house is a calm and peaceful place for me and my girls. He is still known and a part of our home, but this allowed fresh perspective while mourning. His things are stored in the spare bedroom until it is time to go through it. It has been 2 1/2 years. -Wister on Instagram
  • I bought new living room and dining room furniture. Sold our place at the lake. Donated a lot of his clothes. I still haven’t cleaned out his night stand or gotten rid of his brush or toothbrush. He’s been gone 28 months. – Gwenn
  • I hired lawn care and snow removal. Fixed everything in the house and sold it, house was too large for just me. I moved into a condo two and a half years later. I don’t feel it’s home but it’s what I need now. I still don’t touch his side of the bed. -Wister on Instagram
  • I made a lovely guest room with everything new and cozy…funny how I didn’t change a thing in the master bedroom, which we had started together but never finished!! 🤔. I also bought a new cozy chair for by my fireplace in the kitchen…where I ended up spending most of my time! It’s been 7 yrs and that house is sold. I still have the chair, which is in my bedroom now and I almost never sit there!! Life is full of changes! – Jane
  • I also left all pictures as they were, its now 3 years. His clothes were taken by his family. I kept his shorts tshirts that i love and wear, and one of my favorite cologne) I am looking forward to move to a new city so we (my two girls) can have a new beginning. -Wister on Instagram
  • In year two I claimed my bedroom for me with a little makeover – new paint, window treatments, bed coverings, lamps, decor. Not quite as extravagant as it might sound. I believe our space should reflect who we are. My bedroom was no longer an “us” room, but a “me” room and I thought I deserved to make it so. – Sharon
  • It’s been 28 months, I’m in the process of downsizing. And already making plans on new furniture. Everything that we own was picked by both of us and is weird but sometimes the furniture or rooms triggers the few not so good memories whenever he was in pain. So I’m starting fresh and keeping with me the great and loving memories of my love. Looking forward to spending more time enjoying my home than spending time cleaning it. -Sandra


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